Insomnia
by Skate-815
Summary: a 1 shot, set post 3.10. Kate's gone after Jack and the Others, leaving Sawyer behind with only his alcohol for comapany. An angsty one shot from a lot of people's POVs about Sawyer. There's a semi happy ending, so please R


Post 3.10 (Trisha Tarkana is dead)

_**Sawyer's POV**_

As much as I hate to admit it, Lardo was right when he insisted on persevering with that lost cause of a hippy van. It passed the day anyway, but as soon as Jin, Charlie and I made our trek back to camp, the reality of what I'd just done hit me again. I'd told Kate I wasn't sorry for what I said, and now she'd decided to go all Indiana Jones again, rushing off to rescue her precious Doc from the men that'll kill her if they find her.

As soon as I heard no one had seen her since much after our return, I was tempted to head out and look for her as soon as possible, but I knew that it was a foolish idea as soon as it entered my head. One, everyone on this island knows I can't track to save my life, and the last time I tried, when that damned boar ran off with my tent, Kate had to show me where to go. Back then, I was so sure she'd be mine, once she got over this little crush she seemingly had on the good Doctor. Not that I was that bothered if she didn't. Back then, flirting with her was just another way to pass the time. How things have changed.

The other thing that stopped me was the knowledge that Sayid and Locke had gone after her. As much as I used to dislike the Iraqi, I know she'd be as safe with him as she ever would with me. And with Mr. Clean out there with them, they've pretty much formed their new A-Team. Who needs the Doctor with them keeping us safe? I sure as Hell don't.

I don't mean that. Of course I want Jack to be safe, back with us. He did pretty much sacrifice himself to get us out of there. Anyway, he's the closest thing I have to a friend on this rock, especially now I've offended Kate. However, I want him to come back, and stay as far away from her as possible. That would be a great compromise.

I can't even sleep. She was only beside me for two nights, but I'd already sort of gotten used to her being there. I've already drunk so many of these Dharma beers that I can't even speak without slurring, but every time I shut my eyes, all I see is her. Her and Jack.

I can see it now. She'll burst in to where ever it is they're keeping him, and he'll say he told her not to come back. She'll reply that she couldn't leave without him and then they'll kiss and make up, and he'll apologise for every little thing he ever did to hurt her. I can't do that. I can't say I'm sorry when I don't know what it is I did to make her so angry. I generally don't even consider saying sorry at all. I generally just get out of the relationship as soon as possible.

I'm sorry. I love you. Two things I've rarely said, and meant to anyone. I've already said the latter to her. How can she expect the first so soon? She's supposed to know me. But of course, she knows all about Jack, and his first surgery. I bet she knows everything about him. She probably doesn't even know my birthday.

The more I think about it, the more I know I shouldn't have let Karl rush into the sunset to find his girl. If I hadn't, he'd be here now, keeping me company, and I wouldn't be so bothered about not sleeping, because I'd have someone to talk to about it. About her. He's luckier than he could ever know. His girlfriend loves him back. Mine's just gone running into the jungle of mystery after another man.

_**Sayid's POV**_

She wasn't planning on sleeping, but Locke and I insisted, especially when we heard how she'd spent the previous night walking back to our camp. In the end, I promised to keep watch with Danielle while she and John slept.

She hasn't discussed what exactly happened between her and Sawyer to make them so distant. Something tells me it was his decision to run and leave Jack. She would never have chosen to do that without some prompting at the very least.

She'd been asleep an hour or so, when the talking started. I didn't mean to pry, but I overheard some of what she was saying. Mostly random mutterings of names. Three occurred more frequently than the others. Jack, Sawyer and Pickett. I assume the third is the name of an Other, from the way she pleads with him in her nightmares. The other two are as expected. Whenever she mutters the Doctor's name, apologies soon follow, and one word surrounds Sawyer's name. Run. I don't believe the majority of us will ever know what happened to them at the hands of the others. All I can get from Kate is that she let Jack down, and that she needs to help him escape.

I was falling asleep on my feet when the shouting started. Kate was lying where she was the last time I'd laid eyes on her, but was thrashing wildly on the ground, screaming for help.

"Help! No! Run Sawyer!"

John Locke was wide awake and on his feet within an instant, searching for the cause of the noise. He knelt beside her, and shook her, asking her what was wrong. Then she awoke fully, and mumbled apologies when she heard she'd awoken Locke. He acted like the perfect gentleman, of course, told her it didn't bother him in the slightest. We started to walk again after that. There was no need to go back to sleep.

_**A few days later**_

_**Hurley's POV**_

He thinks we haven't noticed. He probably doesn't think we'd care if we did. Sawyer hasn't eaten much, or slept at all since Kate's departure. We need a Doctor at the camp. It's only a matter of time before someone gets ill and we need his advice, but if Kate doesn't come back soon, with or without Jack, he's dead.

He loves her. Whether or not he'll ever admit it to her or even himself is a different matter, but her absence has proven it to the rest of us.

_**Three Days Later**_

_**Claire's POV**_

We've all sort of been taking it in turns to follow Sawyer around, just to make sure he doesn't do something stupid. It's so late, but I can't go to sleep unless he does. I once read the longest anyone's ever lived without sleep is eleven days. Sawyer hasn't slept in 6, at least. This is stupid. Kate's coming back. He knows it as well as I do. Though I think what worries him the most is how she'll react around Jack when she does.

I personally don't think he's got anything to worry about. Is he expecting Locke, Sayid and Kate to just waltz into the Others' camp and just walk out with Jack? Three people won't be enough to save him.

**_Charlie's POV_**

It's my turn to watch the ungrateful red neck, and I'm really hoping his going to drop off soon. From the amount of Dharma beer he's been knocking back, I'm surprised he hasn't collapsed already.

There's a noise behind me in the jungle and I spin quickly, suddenly remembering the days when we were guarding the camp against Ethan and the Others. Danielle Rousseau lumbers out of the foliage first, and I prepare to call for help. This was the nutter that tried to trade Aaron or her own child. However, immediately after her, comes Sayid, an urgent look on his face

"What's going on?" I ask

"We need help" is all he says

"Why? What's happening?" but my questions are answered for me as Kate and Locke come next, half dragging a drugged up looking Jack between them. We must have been making quite a racket, because half the camp was coming to watch.

"Hey Freckles!" the Southerners voice boomed above everyone else's quiet mutterings,

"Now might not be the best time mate" I hiss, but he's too drunk to care

"Did you miss me!" he staggered to stand beside her

"Not now Sawyer"

"I get it. Now you and your Doc are reunited, you don't need me around anymore! Well that's just fine! Because I'm not sorry!" the camp look away from the scene unfolding, all of us guilty to be witnessing their argument, but none quite ready to move.

"Get out of the way James" Locke orders in that quiet but authoritive voice. Who the Hell is James? I wonder, but it seems to do the trick as Sawyer steps aside, allowing the trio to pass. My eyes follow Jack to his tent, and by the time I look back to where Sawyer used to be standing, he's gone. Probably to do more non-sleeping.

_**Kate's POV**_

I might have known Sawyer would make a scene like that. And I have no idea how he managed to get so much alcohol to get that drunk. Jin darts into the tent, and taps me on my shoulder

"Sawyer… sleep" he says. I look around in horror, wondering exactly what Sawyer's been spreading about me, but then Claire speaks excitedly before I have a chance to

"Really? I was starting to think he never would"

"What's going on?" for a moment, I completely ignore all worries I have for Jack

"Sawyer hasn't really been acting… normally since you left."

"What do you mean normally?"

"He hasn't slept" the look on my face must have conveyed my feelings, because Claire rushed to reassure me, "But it's okay! He's asleep now"

"I'd better go see him" I decide, glancing once at Jack before I leave. There's nothing I can do for him until the drugs wear off.

_**Sawyer's POV**_

"Sawyer… Sawyer… James!" my eyes flick open at that. Only two people on this side of the island call me by that name, and the other doesn't sound nearly as feminine.

"So you came to see me then?" I try and fail to hide the drunken slur

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" so they told her did they…

"Haven't been tired" I lie, "But I am now, so if you excuse me…" she rolls her eyes in that annoying but so cute way, but doesn't protest further. Instead she slips under the blanket beside me, and lies still.

"What are you doing?" I attempt to sound indignant

"Well James, I haven't been sleeping that well either" she sounds vulnerable. Almost as if she expects me to throw her out. I reassure her by slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her as close to me as I did that first night we were together.

"Night James"

"Night Freckles" is all I can say before sleep claims me.


End file.
